Talk with your partner

If your own spending is under control but you know your spouse overspends, it’s time to have a conversation about it.

Set up a meeting on neutral ground, such as in a park or a coffee house. Make sure there are no distractions.

Explain to your spouse that you’re partners in every way, including the way you both handle money. Be positive and supportive, and emphasize that you want to work together to reach your mutual goals.

Without blaming or being angry, explain how your partner’s overspending is making it hard to reach your joint money goals. Share ideas how you can cut back and be more responsible with money. Work together to come up with a plan to cut back, and try to make it fun.

Many couples have found it a positive experience to join together and make good financial changes in their lives.

You also can look at this as a great opportunity to share financial worries. Make a list of what concerns you and share it with your partner. Here are some statements to get the conversation started:

• I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay my bills.

• I’m afraid of what my mother-in-law will think.

• I’m afraid I won’t be able to buy what my neighbors buy.

• I’m afraid I’ll feel like a failure if I can’t buy the things I want.

Sharing your lists will help you face your fears together and take action to overcome them.