As with all aspects of financial planning, proactive plans are critical for the care of an aging parent.
Benefits include having parents’ care preferences known by family members; peace of mind; reduced conflict, burden, and guilt; and more choice and control over the situation. For example, three siblings might discuss the issue and decide to jointly pay the premiums for a long-term care insurance policy for their mother because having her move in with any of them is not feasible. By taking this step, they are transferring the risk of the high cost of care, at home or in a nursing home, to a third party. The mother’s financial assets also will be preserved for inheritances instead of being spent down on long-term care services. Another family might decide on an entirely different course of action, such as having the aging parent move in with one child while other siblings provide financial assistance and respite care.
Aging parents and their children often avoid talking about long-term care for a number of reasons. Avoidance factors include not knowing how to begin the conversation, denial of their own and others’ mortality, and fear of how their motives will be interpreted (as in “he/she is after my money”), parents’ privacy about their income and assets, a feeling that it is too early to plan because everything is fine, and/or the potential for family conflict.
Decisions about aging parents are best made proactively, before a crisis, and with the involvement of all family members. Discussions need to be frank and include various care options and resources available to pay for them.